


Burning in Church

by CrimsonInk



Series: Iplier One-Shots [4]
Category: Video Blogging RPF, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Burning Churches, Chaos, Couple goals, Cute, Fluff, Funny, Gen, Humorous, I think it's funny but oh well, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kinda, Murder Husbands, No churches and or people were harmed in the making of this, Platonic Relationships, Still gay vibes, church, demon darkiplier, so much chaos Wilford why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:27:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27475000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonInk/pseuds/CrimsonInk
Summary: Wilford is chaos, to put it simple.However, when Christmas was around the corner -he had waited so long for that very weekend!- he decided to drag Darkiplier, his longest and best friend, to a nearby church.Why? - One may ask.Well, the answer is simple: Free stuff. There was free stuff and who but Wilford would never miss such a chance?The only problem was just that Dark wasn't, to put it nicely, a welcome creature behind the doors of god's chambers.So, it only took him so long until it all just busted out of him - quite literally.May wanna check on him. I think he has a little fever...
Relationships: Damien | The Mayor/Wilford Warfstache | William J. Barnum | The Colonel, Darkiplier/Wilford Warstache, Wilford Warfstache/Darkiplier
Series: Iplier One-Shots [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2004523
Kudos: 23





	Burning in Church

**Author's Note:**

> \- Inspired by the title "From demon to reverend"  
> (I haven't read the book yet. The title only inspired me)  
> \- Disclaimer!: I respect every religion in its own way and it's not my intention to make fun of it in any serious way! It's satire, I don't want to attack anybody or anybody's culture! 
> 
> Thanks for understanding!  
> And now, excited Wilford :)

It was on a Sunday morning in December when Wilford presented his dear friend Darkiplier his idea for their shared day. It was every once in a while when the two men would do something together and this time it was Wilford's turn in choosing what they would do.

"-and I thought that we could go there for the sake of the Christmas spirit! Doesn't this sound like fun?", Wilford exclaimed and clapped his hands excited, the white bobble of the red Christmas cap he had on swung from left to right.

"No." Dark simply answered and lowered his gaze back to the book in his hands.

"Oh come on, Dark! It will be fun, I promise!"

"What about 'No' don't you understand?"

"But there will be free food and candy and some presents as well!", Wilford whined. He waited the last two weeks for this day.

"Wil, I will not set a single foot into a church ever again, not since the last incident.", Dark stated and closed his book, finally meeting eyes with the madman.

"I didn't know that you're not allowed to shoot the priest!", he said whilst throwing his hands in the air.

Dark audibly sighed and closed his eyes for a moment as he pinched the bridge of his nose. When he opened them again, Wilford was standing right in front of him, a pleading look on his face.

"Is this really what you want? Are you totally sure about this?"

"Totally sure! 100 percent! Now come on, let's go!", he hurried and pulled Dark to his feet. A small smile crept on the entity's face when he saw the excitement in Wilford's eyes.

\- - - -

After a 15 minute ride, they reached the nearest church and saw many people enter it.   
Dark tensed a bit while his friend dragged him to the religious building. The people from the church watched them suspiciously as they entered through the huge entrance.

"Wilford, I really think that this is not a good idea...", Dark voiced and tried to hide his nervousness as he tugged at the collar of his white dress shirt.

Since Dark had a pretty low body temperature, the cold outside didn't bother him at all. Wilford on the other hand was a living heater and he felt the cold pretty much, but refused to wear his trench coat out of pure stubbornness. 

The moment the demon stepped into the church, he felt a heat pool form in the middle of his torso but ignored it.

"Look! They killed a man and crucified him too! You can't tell me anymore that I was the only one doing it!", the madman exclaimed loudly, something shining in his eyes.

Wil pointed at the Jesus statue and mimicked a surprised face. Dark only chuckled a little but didn't bother to tell him the truth. It would be hard for his friend to understand anyways. He looked around the hall to see the disturbed or angered faces of the humans.

"Excuse me, but may I ask why you two followers of our Lord and saviour have joined us on this wonderful day?", a man in formal clothing asked them.

Dark eyed the formal dressed man for a moment before he put on one of his warm and calming smiles.

"Well, you see; my dear friend here wanted to visit a church really badly, because he never was in one before. We just so happened to walk into this one.", Dark explained.

"I am really sorry for his behaviour, but he has a mental illness. It's hard for him to see the differences between the real world and his fantasies.", he now told him in a whisper tone while Wilford was searching for the promised free candy.

"Oh, I see. I'm sorry about your friend's illness. I hope you will have a nice time joining our community today. And by the way, my name is Dillon. I'm the priest here.", the man introduced himself politely.

"May I ask, why you have this... grey skin colour?"

"Oh, that's because I was on set for sketch I and my team are working on right now. I didn't get the time to clean it off, before my friend dragged me out of the studios.", Dark told the man.

After their little conversation, Dillon had to excuse himself and walked away. Dark exhaled and straightened his posture, looking out for Wilford who seemed to be lost in the crowd.

"Wilford?", Dark called out but didn't get a response.

"Wilford!", he tried once more.

The madman was nowhere to be seen, so the demon decided to walk around and in hopes to find him eventually.  
After a few minutes, the heat inside of him started to get painfully hot, but he tried to hold it down for another while, until he would find his friend.

"Hey! Darky! Look what I found!", rang the sudden slurry voice of Wil who appeared right behind him.

Swiftly, Dark turned around and felt how his friend immediately shoved something pointy into his hand, a warm smile on his face.

With this last item, Dark let out a hiss and stumbled backwards. He let the the little cross in his hand fall to the floor, it being the cause of boosting the raising flames inside of him. The burning heat, that built up all the while he was inside this building, busted out of him and laid upon him like an aura.   
People started to scream in surprise or shock, distancing themselves from Dark.

"Get out of the way! What is happening here?! Why are people-", Dillon started but cut himself off mid-sentence.

"DEMON! DEMONS! HE'S A DEMON!", the priest screeched.

With that, the young looking man pulled out a cross and hold it in front of him, a look of horror on his face.

"EVERYONE! GET OUT YOUR CROSSES AND TELL YOUR ANTI-DEMON-PRAYERS!"

Some people circled the dark entity, while others dashed for the exit.   
Dark just stood there, too perplex to realize what was going on. When the words of their prayers echoed through the hall, Dark woke up from his startled state and glared at them in annoyance. The flames around his cold body flared up more and lashed out into every direction. The people widened the circle and were now basically screaming their mantra, the cross protectively in front of them working, supposedly, as a shield.

"Tsk, idiots.", Dark spat and walked casually over to one of the many wooden benches.

With a stone face, he only tapped on one of them and it started to catch fire. The people around him stopped their work and screamed in horror, running as fast as they could to the huge church doors. Dillon was now the only human being left in the church, besides Wilford, who actually isn't that much of a human because of his plopping power, however; He stopped his chanting and looked Dark dead in the eyes, his green ones filled with resistance and determination.

"GET OUT OF HERE, YOU UNHOLY CREATURE! GO BACK TO THE HELL HOLE YOU CAME FROM!", he screamed and stepped closer to the demon.

Dark only let out a small laughter and replies smugly: "Well, how could I go back to Hell, when I live in it right now?"

Without another word, he grabbed Wilford by the wrist and ported them to Dark's car.  
The moment he was outside, the flames that surrounded him collapse back into him and the burning heat vanished from his body.

"Sooo, no murder this time~?", Wilford asked, a brow raised at his friend.

"No, not this time.", he simply answered and sat down in the driver's seat.

"You wanna get ice cream instead?", Wil asked, hoping it would lighten up Dark's mood.

"Sure, why not."

So, Wilford and Darkiplier rode down the street towards their home, in the background the church on fire and the sirens of the fire department echoing through the streets in the morning hours.


End file.
